I don't often write fiction. Even though I enjoy it thoroughly, I tend to go off-track and forget what I was actually trying to say through it. This one's a little bit different, as I thought it would be a great opportunity to try to explain how I see the connection of beauty and confidence. So many people criticise women who are interested in beauty, calling them shallow or accusing them of hiding behind a mask of fakeness. I hope this little story kind of explains how I stand on the issue.
I glanced at my watch nervously, as the scenery was whizzing past behind the window. Fields, straight roads, the odd house or two. I was still more than half an hour away from my train stop and I blushed when I realised that I’d only checked the time a minute and a half ago. I put on my headphones and decided to calm my fluttering nerves with some uplifting music, but as soon as I pressed play, a slow, heart-wrenching ballad came on.
Oh no, this really wasn’t what I needed right now. I sighed. If listening to a sad song turned me into a nervous mess, then how on earth was I to convince a complete stranger to give me a job at the company of my dreams?
I took a deep breath, skipped to another song and began rustling in my handbag for a hand mirror to make sure my make-up was still in place. The reflection was not what I’d expected. Just a few days ago I’d allowed myself to indulge in some treatments I’d never had before. My hair was cut into a sharp, angled bob, I had extensions on my eye lashes, perfectly manicured finger nails and my skin was glowing in a warm shade of gold. I couldn’t help but giggle. That’s right, I’d used self tan. Me! Of all people! I’d been terrified of fake tan all my life! All this was meant to turn me into a new person, but my confidence was still at rock bottom. It was nothing but a facade, a childish game of make believe.
That’s when it hit me. What if I do play a game of make believe? What if, just for the purpose of this interview, I pretend to be this glamorous, groomed woman that just oozes confidence and makes a room light up without even having to try? Without even knowing it, I was smiling. Yeah, let’s do this. I had nothing to lose, after all.
Two hours later I was sat on the train again, shoulders back, head up high. My skin was glowing, but it was not because of my skin care routine, or the self tanner. It wasn’t even because of those two litres of water I drank every day. Just seconds ago I’d received a message on my phone offering me the job. It was only then that I realised I didn’t need any beauty treatments to turn me into a different person. All they did was bring out what was already inside. As it turned out, I hadn’t been playing make believe at all.
I hope you enjoyed this little deviation from the regular reviews, wish lists and favourites - even though it's back to regular blogging business tomorrow! ;)